Gary, IN – The increasingly intense race for the most important seat in the world just got a little more crowded by today’s announcement of a new candidate, which appears to be a literal seat. Dr. Lawrence Costas, a local radiologist, announced that his new office chair has so much back support, he doesn’t see why it shouldn’t run for President.
“You guys would not believe how good this thing feels,” said Costas, moan-talking from his chair. “I just got to thinking, like 80% of people will have back pain at some point. Isn’t this a cause we can all rally behind?” Costas thinks people will show up to the polls like never before for a candidate that can help alleviate a sore back.
Costas’ co-workers agree that the chair is comfortable, but wish that he would do a little more work during the day. “Ever since he got this chair, he just sits there and makes weird noises with his eyes closed for most of the day,” said Dr. Gretchen Jones. “And we keep the lights off in our radiology room so whenever people come to consult us, all they hear is moaning coming from the dark. The rumors are running rampant.”
Dr. Costas plans to take his chair out on the campaign trail this summer. He has already come up with a campaign slogan: The Chair 2020: We’ve Got Your Back. He says he is considering having the popular pill Viagra be The Chair’s running mate, at which point he will change the slogan to “Chair and Flare 2020: We’ve Got Your Back, and Your Front.”
White Coat Weekly would like to thank everyone involved in this interesting story. We will continue to follow and update as necessary.