Philadelphia, PA – An exciting scene broke out at a Philadelphia hospital this week when new intern Shawn Bell mistakenly wore his red lab coat in place of his normal white one. He didn’t realize the magnitude of his error until Cecil Stephens, a long-tenured employee and known paranoid conspiracy theorist, yelled “It’s happening again! Sound the alarm! THE RED COATS ARE COMING!” as he entered the hospital.
Adding to the unfortunate scene was the fact that the nursing staff had just switched their uniforms to red scrubs. “I started to see a whole group of them gathering and plotting together in one of the patient’s rooms. All wearing red!” Stephens told White Coat Weekly.
But Stephens was ready. “I’ve waited for that moment my whole life,” he said after the incident was resolved. “I’m just thankful I recognized it and rallied my troops. It could have gotten bad.” He spends his free time watching old war documentaries and keeps replica uniforms in his work locker. “I called up my guys who go to the re-enactments with me every year and they were here within an hour. Luckily, I was able to barricade myself behind the nursing station until they got here.”
Luckily, there were no serious injuries other than the already broken character of Dr. Bell. The event went on for most of the day* until they got close to an operating room and were sharply reprimanded by a scrub nurse.
*Note: by most of the day we mean a dermatologist’s day, typically ending around 1:30pm, not a surgeon’s day.
“I told them if they broke my sterile field, I’d break them. And sterilize them,” said the nurse. “It was no big deal, I’ve seen worse than a simple revolution.” Apparently, this wasn’t the first time she’s had to do something like this.
We were not able to catch up with the intern, Dr. Bell, because he is still busy answering all the pages and writing all the notes he missed during the revolution. We did speak to Katherine Washington, CEO of the hospital, who said she was actually rooting for Stephens because if successful, she would have potentially had two hospitals to profit from instead of just one.
White Coat Weekly would like to thank all of the eyewitnesses for this interesting story. As it seems the issue has been resolved, we will sign off at this time. But please do not hesitate to contact us with any further updates.