Doctor Forgets to Put “Not Medical Advice” in Social Media Bio, Thousands Perish

New York, NY – It was a bloody week in New York City after Dr. Thomas Keeton, a local surgeon, forgot to include an appropriate disclaimer in his twitter profile. He is fairly new to the popular app and started to carelessly retweet everything from Game of Thrones clips to ‘funny’ videos of people getting hurt, and the real-life consequences were devastating.

“At first the app seemed really fun and harmless,” said Keeton from prison, “but now I realize just how careless I was. I can’t believe I forgot to tell people that everything I tweeted and retweeted wasn’t actual medical advice.”

According to reports, a few hundred people drank some poison after Dr. Keeton retweeted an old Game of Thrones video where Olenna Tyrell knowingly drinks some herself. “I never would have thought to drink it on my own, but after a real doctor endorsed it via retweet, I coudn’t resist!” said Henry Laster, who only survived because he couldn’t find a strong enough dose of poison. Hundreds of others were not so lucky as they literally vomitted their guts out on their way to meet death.

Dr. Keeton also ‘liked’ a twitter post of someone BASE jumping, which he didn’t realize would even show up on other people’s timelines. He was walking downtown to work when hundreds of people started splattering on the ground around him. His twitter was blowing up and he finally realized what was happening.

Keeton’s lawyers said as long as he adds “Tweets not medical advice” to his profile bio, he should be okay and freed from prison soon. He told us he is going to have to go back through his twitter and make sure he didn’t accidentally ‘like’ any risqué videos or people may start prostituting themselves thinking there may be health benefits.

White Coat Weekly would like to thank everyone involved in this interesting case. We will continue to follow.

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