Man Uses “Throckmorton Sign” to Make All Major Life Decisions

Cockeysville, MD – Throckmorton sign has long been used as a joke in the field of radiology and refers to the phenomenon when the penis ‘points’ to the same side as the patient’s pathology, such as a broken bone, on an imaging study. To local citizen Peter Johnson, however, the sign is anything but a joke.

“I got an x-ray when I broke my leg a few years back and noticed ‘positive Throckmorton Sign’ on my radiology report. I started looking more into it, and it’s absolutely genius!” Johnson told us. He said the first time he decided to try it out, he was deciding which car to buy. After staring at the two final options, he let Big Jim have the final say. “I laid down on the ground and the pull to one side was immediately apparent. Never regretted it a day in my life. Best damn car I’ve ever had.”

Johnson says this approach to decision making has been ‘rock solid’. “I do get some strange looks sometimes at restaurants when I’m trying to decide on a menu item. I even got arrested once for taking my pants off when it was a close call and I couldn’t quite tell. But it ended up being the right choice, so it all worked out.”

Before this life-changing realization, Johnson considered himself a drifter with flaccid morals. “I just never felt excited about any decisions I was making. Now, there’s no question in my mind. I stand more erect in my decision making.”

White Coat Weekly would like to thank everyone involved in this fascinating story. We will continue to follow, and hell we may even give it a try ourselves.

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