Bethesda, MD – It seems burnout is just about the number 1 issue on everyone’s work-life agenda these days. Our jobs, especially in healthcare, become life-consuming, and at times it’s difficult to keep perspective. At White Coat Weekly, we care about you. That’s why we’ve put together this list of our top 5, extremely useful, foolproof ways to reduce burnout.
5. Try More Extreme Forms Of Yoga
Hospital administrators love suggesting absolutely pointless solutions to help their workers be less burnt out. Yoga tends to be one of the favorites, but it usually isn’t helpful at all (gasp). Getting experimental with yoga, however, might actually help. For example, have you ever tried doing downward dog pose while doing surgery? It’s extremely refreshing and results are nearly immediate. Alternatively, have you ever taken out a gallbladder while you’re in the Karnapidasana pose? Exhilarating. Helps with burnout immediately.
In addition to the obvious benefits, the absolute reaming you get from the other surgical staff when doing yoga during surgery will bring you right back to non-burnt out land real quick.
4. Become Really Apathetic
This suggestion makes the list due to simplicity. It’s pretty foolproof, but requires selling a somewhat large portion of your soul. It goes like this: first you call Satan (number can be found in most hospital bathroom stalls) and let him know you’re burnt out and interested in selling some soul. The soul market isn’t great right now, but it’s been worse. Anyway, next you’ll have to sign some stuff in blood, but we suggest just not reading it and checking the “I accept all terms” box. After that, it’s pretty immediate. You lose most emotion and nothing seems like that big of a deal anymore. It’s pretty hard to be burnt out when you have no feelings. Also, you’ll fit right in with the surgeons.
3. Wear Cooler Clothes
This option makes the list because it’s actually two solutions. That’s right, two for the price of one. First of all, to keep yourself from overheating and burning out you can consider wearing more loose-fitting clothing options. They can be more breezy and allow you to remain at a non-burnt out temperature. Wearing ‘cooler’ [as in more ‘hip’ for you young ‘uns] can also be huge here. Try mixing it up, you can literally buy a scrub top with anything on it.
2. Just Try To Make Work A Complete Out Of Body Experience
Have you ever been at a family reunion where you knew pretty much no one, but somehow everyone acts like they know everyone? You shrivel up pretty quick and it seems like your body just moves on its own while your mind is already back home. This is what we are talking about. This is the extreme of ‘putting your head down and working’. There are techniques to help you feel like you don’t exist for a while. Practice them, master them, use them. Are you sick of Martha paging you every 10 seconds for a ‘fever’ of 99.3F? With enough practice, you can get to the point where it’s basically not even you answering that page, it’s just a skeleton shell of yourself. A reflex meat bag.
1. Douse Yourself With Flame Retardant
Look, we don’t want it to have to come to this, but it’s a great option if you need it. It comes in at number 1 on the list because IT DOES NOT FAIL. If you feel yourself getting SO burnt out that you are worried about self spontaneous combustion, a little flame retardant will prevent a massive fire. You thought you were burnt out now? Wait until you’re a naked-ass pile of ashes getting coded by your colleagues in Trauma Bay 1. Use the flame retardant.
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