Local business, charities, and politicians all rubbed shoulders on Saturday night at this year’s annual Patient Partnership Award Night at the historic New York City Botanical Gardens. The most coveted award of the night went to a man named David Price, who went above and beyond expectations, doing the impossible.
Mr. Price, a 65-year-old mechanic, received this year’s prestigious “So Goddamn Helpful I Could Cry” merit of distinction for his exceptional act of valor by bringing his medication, allergies, and a detailed yet succinct list of relevant past medical history in in a labelled and laminated folder during a recent visit to his physician. Everyone involved was absolutely stunned, as no one has ever done this before.
As soon as Mr. Price left the hospital, authorities were alerted and the decision was immediately made to give him the award. “These people really go above and beyond, and it behooves our community to recognize their effort,” said local organizer Tanya Actail. “You’d be shocked how many people forget essentially every potentially relevant detail about their medical history as soon as they walk through the doors.”
The night unfortunately took a bit of a downturn when Mr. Price was seen at the open bar drinking 2-3x the quantity of alcohol as he had originally indicated was his usual.
Next year, event organizers are considering giving the award to anyone who can take a full course of medication as prescribed. No one, including doctor’s themselves, has been able to accomplish this difficult feat yet.