BREAKING: Nurse Eats Lunch

Camden, NJ – An unbelievable event happened this weekend when a nurse ate lunch. It is thought to be one of only a handful of times in history that this has happened. Nurse X, as we will call her, is currently in a witness protection program due to the unsafe predicament she finds herself in after taking the lunch break. However, she agreed to talk to us about the groundbreaking occurrence.

“It kind of happened by accident. I had been working for a week straight and I was delirious. I didn’t even think about it, I just grabbed some food, walked away and started eating it!” said Nurse X. “It was such a rush when I realized what I was doing. If administration finds out I took an actual lunch break, they might kill me,” she continued. Nurse X agreed to talk with us under the condition her identity would never be revealed. “I had to enter witness protection because a couple of other nurses saw me, and the jealousy in their eyes alone almost killed me. I barely made it out.”

Nurse X says as she was walking away with her food, 3,425 call lights went off. She assumed another staff member would attend to them as is written in the protocol, but she says there is no precedent for this type of lunch break. “It just doesn’t happen. I’m so dead if anyone finds me,” she said, clearly trembling.

Once she finds a new placement under a new identity, Nurse X says her next whistleblower event may be to try and do an actual full sign out with night shift. “No one has ever done one so it’s risky, but I may try it and see what happens if I’m feeling risky.”

We would like to thank Nurse X and everyone involved in this story. White Coat Weekly will continue to follow this absolute daredevil of a nurse.

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