Oxygen Shortages Force Nursing Homes To Switch To Helium Tanks

Phoenix, AZ – Anyone who has stepped into a nursing home knows you can’t get very far without tripping over one of the ubiquitous oxygen tanks. Recent oxygen shortages have led to an interesting situation, forcing nursing homes to switch to another, more interesting gas – helium.

We talked with one nursing home resident to get her take on the switch. “I haven’t noticed too much difference,” squeaked Victoria Dean in an impossibly high, helium-induced voice. She is a 98-year-old citizen of the nursing home. “It feels a little funny, but I like floating around like this!” she said while her head bobbed intermittently on the ceiling.

Our conversation was cut off by another resident, Charles Davis, as he shot across the room using a box fan as a propeller. “Woohoo!” he shouted in a squeaky voice, clearly enjoying his new wheelchair/hot air balloon/improvised jet. All of the residents seemed to be having a great time floating around the nursing home.

Nursing homes have not experimented with other types of gasses yet to replace oxygen. They plan to continue helium supplementation as it adds to recreational value as well. White Coat Weekly would like to thank everyone involved in this amazing story.

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