Category: Big Pharma

BREAKING: All Infectious Disease Specialists to be Replaced by Keyboard Warriors

New York, NY – In a much anticipated move, the CDC announced late Saturday that all infectious disease physicians will be replaced by keyboard warriors, effective immediately. The change comes after six weeks of incredibly impressive, unsolicited advice being dealt out by the commoners on social media.

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REPORT: Anti-Vaxxers OK With Medical Interventions As Long As They Don’t Prevent Deadly Illness

Provo, UT – To the delight of measles viruses everywhere, the anti-vaccine crowd has been causing a surprisingly loud fuss for a few years now. You would think they’d be anti-basically-everything medical if they are denying something as proven and simply as vaccines, but it turns out that’s not the case.

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Pharmaceutical Company Makes First Opioid/Benzodiazepine Combo Pill ‘Chilaxen’

By: Artie Plush

Washington, DC—In an unprecedented move, the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved a combination pill that includes both an opioid and benzodiazepine, called Chilaxen, to treat something pharmaceutical companies are calling Life Pain Disorder (LPD).

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