It has become glaringly apparent that some international leaders have had sign language interpreters for their COVID-19 updates while others have not. Justin Trudeau of Canada has had two, one for English and one for French. Donald Trump has notably had none. Also recently absent from President Trump’s briefings was Dr. Fauci.
The medical community is abuzz after the MRI of a 54 year-old Ontario man, Wade Lafreniere’s, right shoulder was reported as “normal”. To date, it is the first documented case of a normal shoulder MRI in a patient over the age of 30. Radiology was unable to list any pathology to rule out and clinical correlation was not recommended.
Sam Blackbird, a third year medical student at McMaster University has decided to live the entirety of his daily life maintaining sterile technique. This change in his lifestyle came after he broke sterility during his first time in the OR.
Orlando, FL – Recently, an oncologist (cancer doctor) from New York City was tired of his job and looking for a fresh start. He searched all over the country and thought he had found the perfect position in Florida. He was in for quite a surprise, however, when he realized he forgot to read the actual job title, which was for an On-Call-ogist.
New York, NY – In a joyous and momentous taping of his show today, Dr.Oz confirmed that he is in fact from the future and was sent as a gift to humanity from our future selves. This information shouldn’t be surprising, since the man who gave us the knowledge that stuffing ourselves with raisins will whiten our teeth couldn’t possibly be from our time. His genius is other-worldly, and now we know why.
Varmint University Medical Center recently unveiled what experts are calling a revolutionary new treatment. Homeopathic researchers released their findings to the press today after concluding a nearly three year long study on the healing effects of bat bites. They concluded that the saliva of the native Indonesian Aru Flying Fox produced “undeniable healing effects” on test subjects. Benefits ranged widely from reduced hayfever symptoms to one trial patient seeing a complete reversal of severe cirrhosis.