Category: Bull Shit

New On-Call-ogist Really Misunderstood His Job Title

Orlando, FL – Recently, an oncologist (cancer doctor) from New York City was tired of his job and looking for a fresh start. He searched all over the country and thought he had found the perfect position in Florida. He was in for quite a surprise, however, when he realized he forgot to read the actual job title, which was for an On-Call-ogist.

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REJOICE: Dr. Oz Confirms He’s An All-Knowing Being Gifted To Us From The Future

New York, NY – In a joyous and momentous taping of his show today, Dr.Oz confirmed that he is in fact from the future and was sent as a gift to humanity from our future selves. This information shouldn’t be surprising, since the man who gave us the knowledge that stuffing ourselves with raisins will whiten our teeth couldn’t possibly be from our time. His genius is other-worldly, and now we know why.

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Bat Bites May Have Incredible Health Benefits, One Poorly Executed Study Shows

Varmint University Medical Center recently unveiled what experts are calling a revolutionary new treatment. Homeopathic researchers released their findings to the press today after concluding a nearly three year long study on the healing effects of bat bites. They concluded that the saliva of the native Indonesian Aru Flying Fox produced “undeniable healing effects” on test subjects. Benefits ranged widely from reduced hayfever symptoms to one trial patient seeing a complete reversal of severe cirrhosis.

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Report: Everyone Talking Sh*t at Gastroenterology Conference

Detroit, MI – A flurry of activity disrupted downtown Detroit this week as word spread rapidly that a large group of doctors were ‘talking shit’. This did not sit well with local citizens, who quickly became defensive. A few doctors were harmed, but no injuries were too serious.

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