Category: Fun Bag

Oxygen Shortages Force Nursing Homes To Switch To Helium Tanks

Phoenix, AZ – Anyone who has stepped into a nursing home knows you can’t get very far without tripping over one of the ubiquitous oxygen tanks. Recent oxygen shortages have led to an interesting situation, forcing nursing homes to switch to another, more interesting gas – helium.

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WebMD Adds New ‘Wheel of Fortune’ Feature to Symptom Checker

New York, NY – Internet healthcare information giant WebMD announced earlier this week they will be adding new features to their online diagnostic tools. The infamous Symptom Checker, where you put in your symptoms and it tells you that you have brain cancer, will be getting some fun new updates. Apparently, instead of just typing in your symptoms, you will now spin a wheel to learn your fate.

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Has This Man’s Love for Wildlife Gone Too Far?

Los Angeles, California –  A team of surgeons has successfully completed the world’s first inter-species head transplant between a human and a moose, successfully attaching the head of the moose to the human’s body. This marks a historic milestone in medicine, and brings human-animal transplant science to the forefront of the public’s attention.

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BREAKING: First Cordless Baby Delivered As Heaven Tests New Models

Provo, UT – Late last night when McKinleigh Smith went into labor, she and her husband Chad were as excited and nervous as any new parents should be. Thankfully, the birthing process went smoothly for the couple. The Smith’s received a huge surprise, however, when their baby came with no umbilical cord.

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You Won’t Believe What the Polio Virus is Saying About the Measles Resurgence

Travis County, Texas – Reported cases of measles so far this year are nearly double the amount of last year and the highest number since 2000. What a fantastic step backwards for humankind! The measles virus is very pleased with its sudden comeback, but one of its old friends, the poliovirus, is not so happy.

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Administrators Pleased with Nurses’ Surprising Ability to Stretch Even Thinner After Budget Cuts

Modesto, CA – National Nurses Week always sheds more light on nurse staffing ratios, which are a well-known issue across the nation. The battle between patient safety and the hospital’s bottom line is a constant hell, but two hospital CEOs, though not always the best at showing gratitude, may have just found a solution. By physically stretching nurses thinner, they hope to increase their ability to care for more patients.

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