Phoenix, AZ – Anyone who has stepped into a nursing home knows you can’t get very far without tripping over one of the ubiquitous oxygen tanks. Recent oxygen shortages have led to an interesting situation, forcing nursing homes to switch to another, more interesting gas – helium.Continue reading “Oxygen Shortages Force Nursing Homes To Switch To Helium Tanks”
Chicago, IL – The Rod of Asclepius consists of a serpent-entwined rod wielded by the Greek god Asclepius, a deity associated with healing and medicine. It is often confused with the Caduceus, which will be important later in this story. As it turns out, the snake on this Rod is really burned out and may not be able to hang on much longer.Continue reading “Snake On Rod Of Asclepius Burned Out, Tired Of Hanging On”
Arlington, VA – Each Memorial Day, we remember and honor those who have died while serving our country. It is a widely recognized federal holiday and literally almost everyone knows what it is. One surgeon, however, was upset this morning after showing up to work expecting a party in his honor.Continue reading “Surgeon Upset to Learn Memorial Day Isn’t About Him”
Los Angeles, California – A team of surgeons has successfully completed the world’s first inter-species head transplant between a human and a moose, successfully attaching the head of the moose to the human’s body. This marks a historic milestone in medicine, and brings human-animal transplant science to the forefront of the public’s attention.
London, England – Happy Birthday and Happy Mother’s Day to the Mother of Modern Nursing, Florence Nightingale. International Nurses Day brings Nurses Week to a close, and we couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate all of this than by talking to ol’ Flo herself! So, we dug up one of those ouija boards hospitals often use to get prior authorizations for dead people when insurance companies reach peak ridiculousness. Let’s just say our experience didn’t disappoint.Continue reading “Good News: Florence Nightingale Says Nurses Still Play Cards in Heaven”
Ancient Greece – What was previously thought to be the world record for longest medical student patient presentation has been absolutely decimated. This week, a medical student from 400 BCE was discovered inside of a tomb mindlessly rambling off lab values for The Four Humors, caught in an apparent loop.Continue reading “Report: Medical Student from Class of 400 BCE Still Giving Patient Presentation”