Varmint University Medical Center recently unveiled what experts are calling a revolutionary new treatment. Homeopathic researchers released their findings to the press today after concluding a nearly three year long study on the healing effects of bat bites. They concluded that the saliva of the native Indonesian Aru Flying Fox produced “undeniable healing effects” on test subjects. Benefits ranged widely from reduced hayfever symptoms to one trial patient seeing a complete reversal of severe cirrhosis.