Category: Tech

Nutritionists Successfully Halve Calories In Burger By Mixing It Around Like A Salad

Austin TX – Nutritional researchers from the University of Texas at Austin, in a 14 page study published yesterday afternoon, reportedly were able to reduce the amount of calories by half in a standard American cheeseburger by mixing it all around in a bowl like a salad.

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You Won’t Believe These 5 Brilliant, Practical Ways To Recycle Used Medical Equipment

Palo Alto, CA – Do you ever get bothered that so many catheters, speculums, plastic urinals, etc. are wasted in hospitals on a daily basis? Lament no more! Recycling enthusiasts are celebrating this week after news that a new company will be using various disposable hospital items for other practical purposes. Here are some examples:

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CPR Machine Giving Out Free Hugs This Weekend

Madison, WI – The cool looking machines that apply a Herculean amount of force on your chest to perform CPR are giving out free hugs this weekend at a local health fair. The event is part of a fundraiser to raise CPR awareness, and everyone will have the chance to feel like a train is hitting their chest at 9,000 MPH.

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Starbucks Unveils New Coffee Delivery Model For Top Users

Los Angeles, CA – After a recent story highlighting just how much coffee some doctors drink, Starbucks held an emergency board meeting to discuss the issue. To take advantage of the high demand, they have released a new coffee delivery mechanism sure to impress the highest-volume drinkers. The new model, which consists of a coffee IV bag injected straight into the veins, is being piloted in hospitals across the country.

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WebMD Adds New ‘Wheel of Fortune’ Feature to Symptom Checker

New York, NY – Internet healthcare information giant WebMD announced earlier this week they will be adding new features to their online diagnostic tools. The infamous Symptom Checker, where you put in your symptoms and it tells you that you have brain cancer, will be getting some fun new updates. Apparently, instead of just typing in your symptoms, you will now spin a wheel to learn your fate.

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Millennials Saddened to Learn “Avocado Hand” Not a Fresh New Biohack

Austin, TX – In the wake of startling news about Texting Thumb, Avocado Toast Aficionados were dealt another devastating blow just minutes ago, when a public service announcement from the Hand Surgeon Society of America hit the wire.

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