Week Before Residency Starts, Overzealous Intern Already Found Bathroom

With less than a week to go until the infamous start date of new interns nationwide, many residency programs are well into their orientation process. It’s looking like this whole residency thing isn’t going to be a problem for one intern, however. He already knows where the bathroom is and residency hasn’t even officially started yet.

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BREAKING: Nurse Eats Lunch

Camden, NJ – An unbelievable event happened this weekend when a nurse ate lunch. It is thought to be one of only a handful of times in history that this has happened. Nurse X, as we will call her, is currently in a witness protection program due to the unsafe predicament she finds herself in after taking the lunch break. However, she agreed to talk to us about the groundbreaking occurrence.

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Scientists Conclude Radiology Reading Rooms Are Black Holes

Houston, TX – Continuing advancements in technology allow scientists to make incredible discoveries regarding our universe. Widely publicized photos of a black hole took the internet by storm earlier this year, and since then scientists have discovered more black holes in locations that may surprise some – radiology reading rooms.

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REPORT: Anti-Vaxxers OK With Medical Interventions As Long As They Don’t Prevent Deadly Illness

Provo, UT – To the delight of measles viruses everywhere, the anti-vaccine crowd has been causing a surprisingly loud fuss for a few years now. You would think they’d be anti-basically-everything medical if they are denying something as proven and simply as vaccines, but it turns out that’s not the case.

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Awards Night Honors Guy Who Actually Remembered To Bring His Medication List To Appointment

By: Millennial__MD

Local business, charities, and politicians all rubbed shoulders on Saturday night at this year’s annual Patient Partnership Award Night at the historic New York City Botanical Gardens. The most coveted award of the night went to a man named David Price, who went above and beyond expectations, doing the impossible.

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Pharmaceutical Company Makes First Opioid/Benzodiazepine Combo Pill ‘Chilaxen’

By: Artie Plush

Washington, DC—In an unprecedented move, the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved a combination pill that includes both an opioid and benzodiazepine, called Chilaxen, to treat something pharmaceutical companies are calling Life Pain Disorder (LPD).

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