Tag: featured

STupid mEd student tRIes to Live stErilly (STERILE)

By: Dr. Golf Shirt (@DrGolfShirt)

Sam Blackbird, a third year medical student at McMaster University has decided to live the entirety of his daily life maintaining sterile technique. This change in his lifestyle came after he broke sterility during his first time in the OR. 

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Police Officer Cleans Up Crime in The Age of Fentanyl

By: Ryan Marino, MD

Butler County, OHIO – Local police officer Kevin Martin was not on duty two nights ago when he made the biggest bust in county history. 

“My wife sent me to the grocery store to buy laundry detergent; she’s usually in charge of buying that and doing the laundry, but I want to help out more now that I’m out of the academy,” said Martin. Little did he know he was about to help millions more people.

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Oxygen Shortages Force Nursing Homes To Switch To Helium Tanks

Phoenix, AZ – Anyone who has stepped into a nursing home knows you can’t get very far without tripping over one of the ubiquitous oxygen tanks. Recent oxygen shortages have led to an interesting situation, forcing nursing homes to switch to another, more interesting gas – helium.

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Thousands of Ribs Cracked After Everyone Accidentally Starts CPR at Bee Gees Concert

Omaha, NE – Anyone who has taken a CPR course knows chest compressions occur at about the same rate as the beat in the Bee Gees hit song “Stayin’ Alive”. Unfortunately, concertgoers got a little too excited once the song started playing at a show earlier this week.

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Emergency Department Celebrates Independence, Secedes From Hospital

Amarillo, TX – In a not-so-stunning move, an emergency department in Texas has formally seceded from the hospital it’s connected to. The emergency physicians claim to be sick of everyone’s crap and state they can do everything just as good as any specialist.

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New On-Call-ogist Really Misunderstood His Job Title

Orlando, FL – Recently, an oncologist (cancer doctor) from New York City was tired of his job and looking for a fresh start. He searched all over the country and thought he had found the perfect position in Florida. He was in for quite a surprise, however, when he realized he forgot to read the actual job title, which was for an On-Call-ogist.

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